2010 so far...

Life has been a bit of a whirlwind lately. As I'm sure you know, we've finally launched the first episode of The Undead Diaries. Feedback so far has been really great. Two of my friends (and the age of my target demographic) got a sneak peek at a couple of episodes and were literally laughing outloud. I can't begin to tell you how good that made me feel. Now, I just need to get about a million other people to do the same thing! For all the marketing I feel like I did, the numbers seem really low for that first episode. I dunno....wait and see? Start email blasting? Episode 2 comes out tomorrow so I guess I need to make a decision by then. Oh! And I think I finally figured out how to upload the damn things so there decent quality. I cannot begin to tell you the countless hours I have spent exporting, uploading, deleting, exporting again, etc., etc.

2010 seems to be in super speed or something. On one hand it seems like the holidays were ages ago but I woke up this morning asking how it was February 4 already? January seemed to just come and go in a blink.

I'm on a major push to make something happen with my acting career. I've been here for over 4 years now and have really nothing to show for it. I've always heard that 5 years is the mark. That's when people start knowing your name, your face, etc., that's when the wheels really start turning. Well, this year will tell. I have dropped so much money on workshops that have resulted in nothing, sent headshots to countless agents that resulted in nothing....I wonder if that 5 year mark isn't so much about people finally knowing you exist but more about you getting to that point where you're so frustrated that you just don't care anymore. Then any fear you had of pissing someone off goes away and makes you more bold? I'll let you know because I'm REALLY at that point. I'm beyond at that point. I have a workshop this weekend for a show I desperately want to be on before it gets cancelled and I plan on putting my theory into practice.

VAMPIRES ARE COMING!!!!

I am pleased to announce that we are in the home stretch of production for season 1 of The Undead Diaries We're shooting the last four episodes this week along with a new promo or two. You can check out the current promo on our YouTube channel. Why not subscribe while your there? : )

I am incredibly proud of what we've accomplished and I can honestly say I've chosen my friends wisely. They have all been so gracious with their time, energy, passion....each helping out every way they can. I am truly humbled by them all.

There's still a lot of work ahead. I've been editing as we've gone along so post-production isn't going to be a complete nightmare (I've been there before and it ain't pretty!) but there are still a couple of snafoo's I need to address. I've also started writing Season 2, which is a really interesting experience. I swear when I came up with this idea two years ago I had written down an outline for 5 or 6 seasons. For the life of me, I can't find it. Since then, every teeny tiny idea I have gets put in my gmail account. I won't be letting that happen again! I'm pleased with what I've written thus far, I just hate the thought of having some great idea disappear because I can't keep ahold of a piece of paper!

In between the writing and editing and filming is the marketing/promotion. Now I don't feel like I'm doing too badly in this area. I actually feel more confident marketing the web series than marketing myself as an actor. It just feels different when it's a "thing" instead of a "you". I am very proud of my awesome postcard idea that has been implemented. Greg and I have been posting everywhere we can think of...Facebook, IMDB (although that post was buried quickly), MySpace, any vampire forum I come across....it's been a lot of work. I think it's going to quickly get to the point where we have to just back away and let it take on a life of it's own.

Can I get a Whoop Whoop?

Two years in the making (I can procrastinate sometimes) I am pleased to announce that we have finally starting filming my webseries "The Undead Diaries!" I'm really proud of my little project. It proves I have a sense of humor (it may not be YOUR humor, but they make me chuckle) and am capable of original thought (unlike, oh say, every studio in this town). What's baffling me is that the first season was a breeze to write. I couldn't make my hand move fast enough. Now we're actually filming season one, I'm trying to start writing season two and some ideas are there but the actual writing not so much. To all you writers out there, when I hear you complain about writer's block now, I get it and boy, do I feel for you. I have no idea how these people who write for weekly t.v. do it. Yes, I know there's a team of you and that's all you have to do all day (unlike me who must spend 8 hours in hell daily) but really, how do you guys do this? I was watching bloopers for one of my favorite shows the other day, Will & Grace, and I am in awe. Seriously, to the writers of that show, I bow down to you!

Mercury Mayhem

The last several weeks have been.....what? Frustrating, rewarding, stressful, exciting...weird. Yep, that's the word I was looking for, weird. I've had some major ups and downs going on. Car accidents, bookings, failed transmissions, auditions, it's been a roller coaster. That's not even counting the internal mental struggles I've had going on. I've finally gotten to a place where I feel secure in my talent. Hollywood, however, seems to have a way of poking and prodding you until it finds something you ARE insecure about and then just slams you with it. Over and over. Lately, for me, it's been about my age. I have become completely freaked out about my age. I'm a vegetarian, exercise every day, drink lots of water, take vitamins kind of girl because I want to be healthy but I've actually been thinking about botox. Something I NEVER thought would even cross my mind. What's wrong with aging naturally, gracefully? I've had a lot of life experiences that enrich my acting. I wouldn't have those to draw upon if I was 22 because they hadn't happened yet! I should be proud that I have wrinkles around my eyes when I smile because it means I've smiled enough to create them! There are actually celebrities that pay $650 an ounce for a night cream that's supposed to stave off wrinkles. The sad part is that I know that all of it's fake. I know about the collagen injections for bigger lips, veneers, hair extensions, spray on tans, false eyelashes, eyeshadow techniques that can make your eyes bigger, smaller, closer together, further apart, spankz, photos being airbrushed, flattering lighting when they film or have a photo shoot...these people aren't any different looking than you and me in every day life. I've seen several of them in person and they just look like normal people. So why am I letting the age thing get to me? I'm not even that damn old...yet. So I started wondering where this freakiness with my cars and ageism was coming from. I was on Facebook the other day and someone mentioned that Mercury is in retrograde. I don't normally put a lot of stock into that kind of stuff, but there's been some freaky stuff going on lately. Like who totals 2 cars within 6 months? Neither accident being their fault? Yep, Mercury mayhem.

Technologic

I have been meaning to redo my website for a looooong time. I don't mind doing stuff like that. It feeds the creative monster in me. So, after fighting between iWeb and GoDaddy, I finally got it up and running. iWeb lets you just put a blog right on in there. GoDaddy wants you to pay for blog hosting. So every time I tried to FTP the files over I kept getting error messages. And of course they don't tell you exactly what's wrong just a "one or more file(s) could not be uploaded". Great. Thanks for all the helpful information there! I was planning on replacing this blog with that one but looks like it 'twas not to be. Maybe now that I know this is attached to my website I'll be a lot better about keeping it updated. The whole reason I started this thing is because I'd like to have a record of this crazy journey I'm on. I think it would be awesome to sit down when I'm 80 and read this stuff. Although I'm sure by then they will have developed a way for us to extract memories from our brain and project them straight onto a screen for all to watch. Wouldn't THAT be cool!

Break Time

I'm on a break. From acting. The thing I'm most passionate about in the world and I'm taking a self-inflicted mental break before I had a mental breakdown. It's amazing how little things can really get under your skin and make you doubt everything about yourself. I had an audition recently. I'm not there to brown nose you, not there to argue with you. I just want to go in say hello, do my thing and go home. I call this pleasant professionalism. Having said that, I had an encounter with someone who could potentially provide me with work recently. Said encounter did not go well. For whatever reason, their energy just did not mesh with mine. After doing the scene, they wanted to chit-chat. I don't do well with chit-chat. I like deep conversations. All the small talk that goes on in this world drives me nuts. Point being, you're not going to have a deep conversation in an audition situation. Ever. This is something I need to work on. Anywho, so the chit-chat started and this person just seemed insistent on making me as uncomfortable as possible. They wanted to know where I was from (ok, fair enough) and then launched into how hard it is to be an actor in LA (ummmm, DUH?) and just kept harping on that point. This person was just insistent on damaging my calm. What I should have done was reminded myself that they had just said that they had tried to be an actor. Operative word there being tried. We finished our chat and I got my feedback. I don't know if I was pms-ing or if the wind was blowing the wrong way or if the conversation we had strummed every insecure nerve in my body but I promptly came home and threw away the outfit I was wearing. Total drama right? Yeah, that's what I think too. I don't let things make me neurotic and I guess after almost 4 years in the trenches, it finally got to me. There's something about this industry that can make you feel like it's never enough. You're never enough. You're to tall, to short, not blonde enough, not skinny enough, not talented enough...it's always something. BUT those things can only bother you if you let them and I, unfortunately, let them. The break won't last forever, but a regrouping every now and then never did anyone any harm.

Things That Make You Go Hmmm

I ran into an old friend recently. Someone that really helped me begin to navigate the shark infested waters of LA when I first moved here. As always, he had some interesting information regarding the casting process. There is a point to all of this, so just bear with me...he recently helped cast an independent feature that had a decent budget. Decent enough that they were talking to some big name actors. Because of his role as CD (short for casting director for those of you that don't know the lingo) the production company set up an account on Breakdown Services for him. Breakdown Services is an electronic submission service for agents, managers and actors. Basically, they list all the roles for a project, with a description of each character and the agents and managers can send the headshot/resume of actors that fit those roles for consideration. Sometimes these roles are released to actors, but a majority of the time only the agents and managers have access to that information. A local casting director once figured out the average number of submissions for any one role. That number came to roughly 2,000. TWO THOUSAND PER ROLE. And that's just the electronic submissions. That doesn't even take into consideration the actors who don't have someone submitting for them and have to do it themselves. When the agents/managers submit, casting sees a thumbnail of your headshot. There is an option to click yes or no under each photo.
That information I already knew. Cut back to the old friend I ran into. He told me that when the agents submit, a folder is created for that agency and casting also has the option to click yes or no to the whole folder. What does this mean? You can have an entire team of people submitting you for a role and if you're not with an agent or manager that that particular office likes working with, you're not getting seen. Period. I couldn't understand for the longest time why people who gave up their entire lives to move here and do this would give up so easily. But, when you start getting information like this, it shows you that they really do everything they can to stack the odds against you. Unfortunately for Hollywood, all it does is make me even more determined to find the loophole in the system. And there's always a loophole : )