Mercury Mayhem

The last several weeks have been.....what? Frustrating, rewarding, stressful, exciting...weird. Yep, that's the word I was looking for, weird. I've had some major ups and downs going on. Car accidents, bookings, failed transmissions, auditions, it's been a roller coaster. That's not even counting the internal mental struggles I've had going on. I've finally gotten to a place where I feel secure in my talent. Hollywood, however, seems to have a way of poking and prodding you until it finds something you ARE insecure about and then just slams you with it. Over and over. Lately, for me, it's been about my age. I have become completely freaked out about my age. I'm a vegetarian, exercise every day, drink lots of water, take vitamins kind of girl because I want to be healthy but I've actually been thinking about botox. Something I NEVER thought would even cross my mind. What's wrong with aging naturally, gracefully? I've had a lot of life experiences that enrich my acting. I wouldn't have those to draw upon if I was 22 because they hadn't happened yet! I should be proud that I have wrinkles around my eyes when I smile because it means I've smiled enough to create them! There are actually celebrities that pay $650 an ounce for a night cream that's supposed to stave off wrinkles. The sad part is that I know that all of it's fake. I know about the collagen injections for bigger lips, veneers, hair extensions, spray on tans, false eyelashes, eyeshadow techniques that can make your eyes bigger, smaller, closer together, further apart, spankz, photos being airbrushed, flattering lighting when they film or have a photo shoot...these people aren't any different looking than you and me in every day life. I've seen several of them in person and they just look like normal people. So why am I letting the age thing get to me? I'm not even that damn old...yet. So I started wondering where this freakiness with my cars and ageism was coming from. I was on Facebook the other day and someone mentioned that Mercury is in retrograde. I don't normally put a lot of stock into that kind of stuff, but there's been some freaky stuff going on lately. Like who totals 2 cars within 6 months? Neither accident being their fault? Yep, Mercury mayhem.